Understanding Gaslighting in the Workplace: Recognizing the Signs and Taking Action
- Zoran Vidovic
- Oct 15, 2024
- 6 min read
Updated: Dec 18, 2024
Have you ever heard of gaslighting? Have you experienced it in the workplace?
I'm sure we all have, as it appears to be a widely spread occurrence. As a matter of fact, we are all guilty of it from time to time.
When?
Well, when our perception of greatness does not meet reality, and for a brief time we decide not to accept our flaws. It is then easier to play dumb and leave everyone questioning their sanity than to admit mistakes.
A person might not even be aware of doing it at the time.
So, why is this then so important if everyone does it?
Well, being guilty of it once in a blue moon and for a brief episode is not nice, but it does not necessarily destroy working relationships and create toxic working environments.
Especially if the behavior is corrected and the trust reestablished.
The concerning bit is if this becomes a modus operandi. Then we have an extremely toxic environment, which is hard to analyze, describe, and pinpoint the cause.
Table of contents
- Insecurity
- Fear
- Avoiding accountability
How will that affect the team?
- Greater turnover
- Loss of trust
- Loss of interest and drive
- Communication gap
What can we do to prevent this from happening in our team?
- Create company culture
- Create standards
- Create trainings
- Create compliance process
- Create hiring standard
- Create communication channels
What is gaslighting?
It is a form of psychological abuse where a person is influenced to question their abilities, perception, and judgment.
"Gaslighting is a continual process of sowing seeds of self-doubt in the mind of a person"
Have you ever had a leader who changes their opinion on a subject matter and then leaves everyone in disbelief as they categorically deny ever having an opposing opinion? This might not seem like a big deal, but if it happens continuously especially during critical fazes, such as projects, it could result in a lot of confusion and stress for the employees.
This can range from shifting blame, denying events as they occurred to downplaying emotions.
Sounds familiar? Well, it appears to be a common trait for most leaders.
Recent studies revealed narcissistic personality disorder in people displaying such behavior as they continuously try to dominate individuals into doubting their reality.
Effects of gaslighting
Well, everyone strives to work in an environment where suggestions are welcome and opinions are respected. It creates a safe working environment where people do not doubt themselves and are able to express themselves.
A good working environment accepts the diversity of opinions and ideas and includes different positions on the subject matter without holding anyone responsible for not being in line with the current narrative.
That is the essence of teamwork. To allow brainstorming and discover hidden gems hiding inside our employees. To achieve this, our employees need to feel safe to express themselves and have access to relevant and accurate information. They need to feel valued and respected with a clear vision ahead to follow and align with.
They need to be allowed to make mistakes and be wrong to be able to grow and develop.
That way they will be free to admit shortcomings and mistakes and work towards plausible solutions.
They will dig deep and provide us with solutions, which might be so far out of the norm that they might even result in a change of direction for the company.
That is a good working environment everyone should strive for.
So, what is the effect of gaslighting?
Exactly the opposite. It creates an environment where no idea is welcomed if not aligned with the expectations set by the leader, which are, of course, neither defined nor communicated.
It is an environment where leaders do not speak up and keep everyone on their toes.
This could be due to various reasons:
- Insecurity, as the leader does not possess or doubt their ability to perform their job at the required level.
- Fear of being revealed as inadequate for the position.
- Avoiding accountability for their actions.
This kind of leader will control and manipulate through gaslighting to compensate for the shortcomings.
How will that affect the team?
It will result in a tectonic shift from the desired working culture and atmosphere towards the toxic working environment, fulfilling the personal goals of this type of leader.
It will result in:
Greater turnover as the employees will not be able to express themselves and achieve desired results. The most able employees will probably decide to go first, leaving the team with the less capable or incapable employees who decide to play the game to maintain the status quo.
Loss of trust in the leader and the teammates, which might result in the formation of groups within and diminished collaboration. This can then be used by the leader to further divide and rule, leaving everyone away from the company's mission.
Loss of interest and drive as the information flow is disturbed, making everyone question everything. It will make people feel hopeless and uninterested in further engagements in an attempt to maintain sanity.
Communication gap as employees are reluctant to speak up and share ideas for fear of being ridiculed and undervalued.
If this is not rectified and continues to progress, it will result in the promotion of like-minded individuals who are supporting toxic behavior and creating a toxic culture, which will gradually lead to deflation of performance across the board.
This can then cause even more friction and finger-pointing, as the culture is not based on trust and integrity but rather on self-preservation and promotion.
What can we do to prevent this from happening in our team?
- Create company culture cherishing and rewarding team effort and collaboration in achieving desired results whilst complementing personal integrity. Maintaining focus on this type of culture will send the message across to all employees, which will create a self-policing environment where each employee will detect deviation and take ownership.
- Create standards that need to be adhered to by each employee at each level of leadership. It will be an easy process to maintain and monitor as each employee is held to the same standard, which also vouches for the company's integrity and boosts trust in the process.
- Create trainings providing tools to each employee to deliver results in line with the required company standards. It leaves no room for misinterpretation and removes undesirable learned behaviors from previous employments.
- Create compliance process to maintain a high level of performance in line with the set standards and company culture. It builds trust and provides checks and balances, minimizing the possibility of an undesirable culture forming within the company.
- Create hiring standard in line with the company standard and culture. Hire to complement the culture and company's mission with new employees who bring desirable qualities, boosting team performance.
- Create communication channels lateral and vertical where any employee can express concerns without fear of retaliation. Employees should feel free to be themselves in line with the company standards and have no fear of speaking up regarding any concern.
This way we minimize the possibility of gaslighting taking over in our team as each member of the team is aware of the desired culture along with the preferred communication standard.
Each team member is empowered to speak up and bring attention to the undesirable leadership style without fear of retaliation.
Empowering employees to recognize and associate with desired behaviors will empower them to take ownership of the working environment and prevent any undesirable behavior from being unnoticed long enough to establish itself as a norm.
What can individual employees do to stop gaslighting?
Presuming the company has taken all the above-mentioned steps, the process should not be too hard as the system is already in place. Not having a good company culture with all the mentioned resources will make it much harder and more complicated.
Company culture will also greatly influence employees ability to detect gaslighting, as they might be so used to a toxic working environment to know any better.
Employees feeling like they are being gaslighted should take action:
- Document the truth and challenge the gaslighter with facts to confirm the suspicion.
- Stay vigilant to see if it was an isolated event or if there is a pattern.
- Keep correspondence factual and auditable (for the record).
- Don't get into pointless discussions leading to potential arguments.
- Maintain your integrity and don't second-guess your feelings.
- Trust your relationship with your colleagues.
- Report the facts to the responsible person within the company.
- Know your rights and company policies with regard to communication and integrity.
- Insist on transparency.
- Hold your company responsible to the company standard.
- Consider leaving the company if the gaslighting continues after all the resources have been exhausted, to preserve personal health.
